I went down to Auburn for the game yesterday. Had a great time; Auburn let the
game be more interesting then they should, but took care of things in the second
half to cruise to a 38-7 win over Buffalo.
Except for a brief visit in 2005, this is the first time I’d spent any
significant amount of time in Auburn since I moved to Huntsville. It’s only been
two years. It might as well have been twenty, because I hardly recognized the
place. Roads are closed, new buildings are being constructed, and lots of
activity is taking place. There are two giant buildings downtown that weren’t
even in sight when I was there.Everything has changed so much.
It felt strange, walking around Auburn. I saw four wonderful years of my life
staring back at me as thought I had walked away from something unfinished.
Almost like there’s some studying that needed to be done or a party to go to. As
I walked around campus, in spite of how much had changed, I noticed how much had
stayed the same.
I saw a black bike parked outside Cary Hall and a freshman cursing because he has
an 8PM biology lab and is missing Babylon 5. As I walked down towards the
Extension - my dorm complex for my first two years at Auburn - I walked past a
very familiar parking space and make note of all the changes. On one side of the
complex is a brand new building that wasn’t even there when I lived there - it
was a parking lot. The Village Kitchen - the place I ate so many meals - is now
gone as well. But I only saw that for a second.Then I looked closer and saw a
sophomore struggling to carry his laundry and books to the laundry room so that
he could study while he waited for the dryers that never seemed to work quite
right. As I stood in the stadium, I could almost feel the junior within me; with
two of his fraternity brothers within him, drinking smuggled-in alcohol and
talking at length about what Coach Tuberville was doing wrong at the half.
During my time at Auburn, I was a frequent poster on the computer message boards
of the school newspaper, the Auburn Plainsman.I remember one particular thread
when discussing as we often did the endless administrative corruption that we
were so fond of. We all saw the ghosts in the cupboard and then congratulated
ourselves on being smart enough to see them. The topic got onto the perceived
lack of alumni involvement in anything other than athletics, and I remember
saying then that “having a piece of paper entitles you to only care about
football.” And as I walked around Auburn yesterday, I came to understand how
completely wrong I was.
It’s not that we as alumni don’t care about our alma mater. It’s not a lack of
caring, but a different perception. We don’t see the problems that students see
because we don’t see Auburn as the current students see it. We see Auburn as it
was for us. We see Auburn through the wide eyes of a freshman trying to find a
room in Haley Center with only five minutes until class. We see Auburn as
hanging out with friends in Foy, or band parties at fraternity houses, or late
night study sessions and trips to coffee shops. We know the bars as they were
for us (The Blue Room, Finks (before it was whatever it is now and before it was
Tigris), etc). Our memories have glossed over any problems we faced to leave
only the perfect image of four wonderful years.
We see Auburn as a football game with friends on a warm autumn eve under a sky
of orange and blue.
I still miss college, and I miss Auburn. But more, I miss the Auburn that was
for me. Maybe that’s why it hurts when I go back and see how much things have
changed. I have this image in my heart of Auburn as it was when I drove down in
August of 2000. I guess it hurt when I went back and saw how much it has
changed. Auburn is moving on without me. And it hurts that, no matter how much I
want to, I can never go back.
“The arrow of time points in one direction only.”
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